As Madeline stepped out of the terminal, she knew something was wrong. There was pretend happiness etched on her daughter's face, but in her eyes was sadness. Throwing off all pretenses, she walked to her child and hugged her.

MADELINE: Honey, what's wrong?
Then the tears came.
DAUGHTER: It's…it's…it's…my…cab company!
Madeline rolled her eyes, 'Not this again…she thought.
MADELINE: What happened this time?
DAUGHTER: I called for a cab…and I got stood up! AGAIN!
Madeline took a deep breath.
MADELINE: Why do you keep going back to him? He's no good for you. It's that
--- Cab, isn't it?"
Y-e-e-s-s. Yes it is.
There was another sob. 
MADELINE: Oh honey, you don't have to keep calling him. There are other cabs
out there. Nice cabs who will treat you right and not leave you in
the lurch.
Her daughter raised her tear-streaked face.
DAUGHTER: Really? Do you really think I’ll find another cab?
Madeline chuckled and smiled fondly.
MADELINE: Oh, honey. You're beautiful; I know you can. There's another cab out
there for you. I'm sure of it. 
DUAGHTER: Oh mom! You always make everything better! 
And then they were hit by a drive-by sushi tosser.


I met Vlad the cab driver the other night. He is a divorced Eastern European man very much in conflict with his life. It was a rainy Saturday night. Vlad liked me. We talked about Europe and SF, and how much he wanted to reconcile with his estranged ex-wife. We sat in his cab for an hour as he shared his story with me.
I finally asked him, "Did you love her?" He wavered a bit before announcing,
"No". But the truth was told in his tone. He did love her, very much. New beginnings are hard to embrace…

In the rapidly growing market of superhero cab companies, --- explodes on the street with a force comparable to that of a Dr. Manhattan bomb. While these heroes are not truly "super" in any kind of mutated or genetically altered way, they do have the power to amaze with speed and effectiveness.  One feels a sense of electricity when getting the call that their cab is outside by an actual person.  And through sheer competence, the dispatcher can let you know exactly where your cab is at any time. If my relationship with --- was only with a couple of the amazing guys and gals that work there, this would not be a fair review. But it seems the entire company has become my hero and protector and that is important when placing your safety in someone else's hands. I feel the need to wear a mask when I don my latex hero outfit at night, but these guys take on the strain and consequences of being mask less.

…besides being a whore for socially inept men, goat cheese, french fries, whiskey based drinks & fat cats, am a sucker for cab rides. I have spent almost all of my life on some kind of public transportation and instead of developing this Zen like attitude about how thoroughly annoying it is, I have zero patience for it and will pretty much always choose a cab ride over the bus, even if I am down to my last 10 dollars and need to start offering hand jobs on craigslist in order to buy meals. This spoiled princess behavior coupled with my complete inability to understand how basic time works leads to the fact that I am always, always running late (like, really late. like oh shit I need to be there in 5 minutes and I am still reading two recaps late) and so you know, I am a taker of cabs. --- is the ONLY company that I will ever call, especially after a recent near death (oh, okay, ankle bruising) experience on xxx and the fact that calling xxx Cab is basically a joke. They should just laugh at you when they pick up the phone. on the other hand, remembers you even after you call once or twice. Fast and super reliable…

…making out with a FOINE…woman who thought I was gay, getting…[lucky] …because of an awesome dinner at SPQR, being accosted when I was fully naked at the gym, and making out with a toothless…Least y'all think that I live in some sort of hedonistic pleasure sphere, let this be a lesson to you because this is code for I AM SO ****ING DESPERATE FOR MEANINGFUL HUMAN INTERACTION THAT I NOW USE AN OTHERWISE LEGITIMATE …WEBSITE FOR PERSONAL ADS DISGUISED AS RESTAURANT AND BAR REVIEWS IN ORDER TO RECEIVE FAKE DIGITAL COMPLIMENTS OF ADORABLE LITTLE PINK HEARTS ASKING ME IF I MODEL. Anyways, if I can't get any, at least I'm gonna hella get SOMEONE some action. Ladies (and gents if you sway that way) - next time you see a --- Cab driver, ****ing sleep with him. Seriously, don't even think about it - just do it.  It will be good.  Because they're all the ****ing nicest cab drivers in the world, they will give you a ride home…they all try to put a dent in --- horrendous monopoly on taxicab service…Also, I've only seen four drivers, but they're all exceptionally extremely good looking [AUTHOR NOTE: I know these people and reports of their pulchritude are greatly exaggerated]. Actually, never mind. Don't sleep with the cab driver. Sleep with the ***ing car.

AUTHOR NOTE: Carlingus or Fellauto?